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                    Misc.kids Frequently Asked Questions
                         Crib to Bed Transition

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Collection maintained by: Diane Lin, dlin@weber.ucsd.edu
Last updated: 6/25/93
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Copyright 1995, Diane Lin.  Use and copying of this information are
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The following is an excerpt from the "call for input"
article.  If you are particularly interested in an answer to
a specific question, you may simply search for occurences of
the number, e.g. (2).
------------------------------------------------------------------
Please feel free to structure your response in any fashion you wish.
However, the following questions might help you in formulating your
comments:

(1)  What age was your child when you transitioned him/her to a bed?
(2)  Was the transition motivated by the arrival of a new sibling?
(3)  If the answer to (2) was no, why did you decide to move to a
     bed at that time?  (Aside from the obvious sign of child 
     climbing out of his/her crib, what factors conspired to make
     you decide to transition your child when you did?)
(4)  How did you go about preparing your child for the transition,
     and did you find that the preparation paid off?
(5)  Did you encounter any problems with your child wandering out of
     his/her room in the middle of the night or early morning?  If
     so, how did you solve the problem?
(6)  Did moving your child from a crib to a bed result in any
     changes to his/her sleep routine?  (Specifically, my husband
     would like to know if sleeping in a bed will encourage our son
     to stay in bed longer in the morning :-0.)
(7)  Did you make the transition from a crib to a toddler bed or to
     a regular sized bed (please specify what size)?  Were you happy
     with the decision (i.e. crib to toddler bed)?
(8)  If you had it to do over again, would you have made the
     transition earlier, later or at the same time?  That is, did
     you feel the timing was right for your child?
    ============================================================== 
From: lauraf@spanky.Jpl.Nasa.Gov (Laura Floom)

>(1)  What age was your child when you transitioned him/her to a bed?

Just after his second birthday.

>(2)  Was the transition motivated by the arrival of a new sibling?

nope.

>(3)  If the answer to (2) was no, why did you decide to move to a
>     bed at that time?  

I decided solely on the fact that he tried to throw himself out head first.
The next morning I told him when he got home that evening he would have
a 'big boy' bed. I knew the time for a bed was coming, but I wanted to put 
it off as long as possible. I would have rather waited until about 2.5.

>(4)  How did you go about preparing your child for the transition,
>     and did you find that the preparation paid off?

almost none. I showed him a picture in caclogue of the bed I was planning
on buying (and was luckily able to find it). I cut it out for him, and we
took it to grandmas, so he could show her. He was also getting the same
bed at grandmas. she talked about it all day, but he seemed disinterested.

>(5)  Did you encounter any problems with your child wandering out of
>     his/her room in the middle of the night or early morning?  If
>     so, how did you solve the problem?

surprisingly not. The first night he got our 3 times, and each time I just
put him back. That was it for about 3 months, and then suddenly it started
again. I just remained firm, and the deal was if he got out of bed, then I 
turned out the light - normally I let him keep it on to read/play. 

>(6)  Did moving your child from a crib to a bed result in any
>     changes to his/her sleep routine?  (Specifically, my husband
>     would like to know if sleeping in a bed will encourage our son
>     to stay in bed longer in the morning :-0.)

nope! sorry.

>(7)  Did you make the transition from a crib to a toddler bed or to
>     a regular sized bed (please specify what size)?  Were you happy
>     with the decision (i.e. crib to toddler bed)?

We used a toddler bed. If Jeffrey had stayed in his crib longer, I may have
considered a full size bed. It cost $70, and now I see them at many stores
for more in the $30-40 range. A real good deal, and I didnt have to buy
railing. I wqas planning on keeping him in until about 4ish, but now we
are expecting another baby about his 3rd birthday, we need the matress. I
could just buy another matress, but I think he will handle a bigger bed just 
fine. 

I saw this great bed at Easman West. It is a loft bed, with a tent underneath
and a slide. It looks like so much fun, and it has a good railing on 3 sides.
We are considering it strongly, but will probabky bolt it to the wall.

>(8)  If you had it to do over again, would you have made the
>     transition earlier, later or at the same time?  That is, did
>     you feel the timing was right for your child?

it worked out much better then I was expecting.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: rick@dodge.Solbourne.COM (Rick Gillespie)

We put our (now 25 months) daughter in a toddler bed just before she
turned 2 (as part of her birthday present). We decided to move her to a
new room, and bed, with enough time for her to adapt before our 2nd child
arrives (due in a month and a half).  We decorated the new room in "101
Dalmations" style, and let her help us with the placement of furniture
and decorations. I think that helped her realize it was *her* room.
The first couple of nights we let her decide if she wanted to sleep in
the bed, or her crib. The first night she chose the crib, and since then
it has been the bed. We now keep the door to her old room closed, so she
doesn't even notice it, and the crib, anymore.
When she goes to bed at night, we read some books and then she is free to
play of sleep as she wants. She *insists* on closing the door when we
leave; when we check on her later we leave it ajar so the pets (and her)
can come and go. The only real change to her sleep routine is that in the
morning she doesn't have to cry for us to come get her; she just wanders
out carrying her "blanky" and saying "I wake up!". It makes the mornings
less traumatic all around; she's in a good mood, and so are we.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Steve Bellovin 

> (1)  What age was your child when you transitioned him/her to a bed?

My daughter was 2.5; my son was 3.

> (2)  Was the transition motivated by the arrival of a new sibling?

Yes and no, respectively.  We moved my daughter out a while before
we told her about the upcoming event; we didn't want her to think
that the new baby -- a potential source of jealousy -- was ``taking''
*her* crib.

> (3)  If the answer to (2) was no, why did you decide to move to a
>      bed at that time?  

It was time -- he was easily old enough.

> (4)  How did you go about preparing your child for the transition,
>      and did you find that the preparation paid off?

For my daughter, we built it up for a few weeks, that she was going to
have a ``big girl bed'', and we let her pick out sheets.  For my son,
apart from the ``big boy bed'' line, he had the incentive that Daddy
was going to make the bed, and he *loves* Daddy's tools...

> (5)  Did you encounter any problems with your child wandering out of
>      his/her room in the middle of the night or early morning?  If
>      so, how did you solve the problem?

No, and no.

> (6)  Did moving your child from a crib to a bed result in any
>      changes to his/her sleep routine?  (Specifically, my husband
>      would like to know if sleeping in a bed will encourage our son
>      to stay in bed longer in the morning :-0.)

Sorry, no change.  Curiously enough, it took my daughter a couple of
weeks to realize that she could get out of bed by herself in the
morning.  Daniel had been wandering out of his crib anyway, at least
on the days when we didn't have to drag him out...

> (7)  Did you make the transition from a crib to a toddler bed or to
>      a regular sized bed (please specify what size)?  Were you happy
>      with the decision (i.e. crib to toddler bed)?

For my daughter, we got a twin bed.  There was no reason to do anything
else, and there was a much better selection of child-oriented
sheets.  For my son, I built a youth bed.  I wanted -- and want -- to
build him a twin bed, so that he can use the sheets he helped pick
out, but other house-hacking projects intervened, and I had no time over
the summer to build the fairly-elaborate platform bed plus bookcase that
I've designed.  The youth bed was a one-weekend project.  (Hmm, I'm
straying into rec.woodworking territory...)  Here's a kid-oriented
reason:  there's much less volume of sheets, blanket, etc., to wash
when he forgets to wake up when he has to urinate.

> (8)  If you had it to do over again, would you have made the
>      transition earlier, later or at the same time?  That is, did
>      you feel the timing was right for your child?

We wanted to move Daniel earlier, but the bed construction contractor
slipped his schedule...  Other than that, things were very easy
with both of them, and that's more or less the definition of ``right''.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Anne Paulson 

We just transitioned Will (31 months) into a regular sized bed.  We
got a railing so he wouldn't fall out.  Here's how it happened:

He has been able to climb out of his crib since he turned two (which
is quite late).  We just always left the railing down, and he would
happily climb in and out.  He often slept on his bed (which has been
in his room for ages) or in our bed for his nap.  He had slept at
night in beds several times, and had fallen out several times (without
waking up!)  One night he saw the cat sleeping on his bed, and asked
to sleep there.  I let him, but put a futon on the floor next to the
bed in case he fell out.  He did.  The next morning I told him we'd
get him a railing so he didn't fall out.  A few days later, we all
went and bought one with some fanfare.  Since then he's been happily
sleeping in bed.  The crib is still up, but he doesn't want to sleep
in it anymore, though he sometimes climbs in to play.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: dehring@erim.org (Marilyn G. Dehring)

We moved our son, Drew, to a "big-boys bed" when we were expecting our second
child.  Drew was about 17 months old.  We began by getting my husbands old
twin-size bed from his parents.  We set up the bed by putting a piece of
1/2 or 3/4" particle board on the frame, then putting just the mattress 
directly on top of that, not using the box springs.  The reason we did this
was so the bed wasn't so high up.....Drew could climb in and out with little
or no difficulty.....and if he fell out, he wouldn't fall as far.  We also
put a papason cushion right next to the bed, on the floor, so if he DID fall
out, he would land on something soft (we left that there for 4-5 weeks until
he got used to being in the bed).  Next, we bought dalamations and sesame
street sheets and put one of them on the bed.  We also got those "Priss Print"
stick-ups in sesame street design to put up on the walls....we let Drew help
decide where to put some of them.  We made a big deal about this being "his"
room now.  We let the room sit there, all decorated, for about 2 weeks.  Then
one day, I asked Drew if he wanted to try sleeping in the big-boys bed for
his nap.....he agreed.  We made a big deal about how great it was that he
could sleep in a big-boys bed, and how exciting it was, etc.  Then, we put
him in for nap and I put a childs-gate up at the door so he couldn't come
out of his room.  He cried for about 20 minutes, and came to the door, so we 
ended up just closing his door and he cried for about 10 more minutes and 
went to sleep.  I was going to keep putting him in his crib at night until he
got used to the bed, but my daycare provider said that that may confuse Drew
if I switched him back and forth between a bed and a crib, so we just let him
sleep in the bed from then on.  The first couple of nights, he cried about
20 minutes or so, but then fell asleep.  He had a lot more difficulty taking
naps, and for about 4 weeks, he would fall asleep right behind the door, on 
the floor, but after this rough period, he did well in the bed.  He only fell
out once, but he just got up and climbed right back in and went back to sleep.
We never used a bed-rail, just the papson cushion to help cushion his fall....
I offered to put the bed rail in for him and he told me he didn't want it, so
we let him decide on that issue.  Drew tends to stay in bed in the morning
(although he doesn't "sleep in" per se, he just lays there and calls out for
Mom or Dad).  What is nice is that, if he is tired during the day, he will
sometimes go in and lay on his bed with his minnie (blanket) and just rest.
After about 4 months of putting the childs-gate up at night, we stopped doing
that and Drew has only once gotten up on his own, and walked around looking
for us (we were still in bed) and then he ended up going into his brothers
room and talking to him until we got out of bed.  As far as the timing of
putting Drew into a big-boys bed, ours was a forced decision due to the 
new baby coming along.  I felt a little guilty "making" Drew go into a big-boys
bed to begin with, but I think he actually enjoys it more.  Plus, Drew was 
always a big kid so the big bed gives him a lot more room without him running
into the crib ends and sides.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Amy Uhrbach" 

We moved my son Alex to a bed when he was 2 1/2, because he outgrew the crib.
Climbing out was never a problem.  He never wanted to, and I know he could
because he DID climb in!  But he was cramped at night, and it was sometimes
waking him up.  The switch went very smoothly, and he doesn't even need rails
so long as he is tucked in.  Here's what we did:

We have a house in Vermont that we share with 3 other families (BIG).  There
are 4 bigger boys out of that crew, so there is one big "boys room"  We showed
Alex how these big boys, his idols, sleep in big boy beds, would he like to
next time we went?  He was all excited, loved it from the beginning.  Only
problem was keeping him on the BOTTOM bunk!

After that success, we asked would he like one at home?  Again, he was all
excited, could hardly wait the 2 weeks until it arrived.  He's so proud of it!

No problems still with him getting out.  He never does at night, or if it's
too early in the morning.  We usually hear him playing and singing for at
least 20 minutes, then he either comes out to get us or calls us in.  This is
much easier for us (and our backs), since we can sit on the edge, don't have
to lift him out, etc.  We DO still have a multi-song bedtime snuggle in the
rocking chair, because I'd miss ending that at least as much as he would.

Because Alex's height was an issue, we got him a full twin bed.  That also
played a part in his motivation.  Paid $220 or so for an ash frame, really
handsome, from Boston Interiors (Metro-Boston area).  They had the exact same
items for much cheaper than the other stores, and I checked quite a few.
Unless you're very short on room space and rich, I see no need for the toddler
beds - you'll just have to buy a bigger one in a year or two anyway.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Ephraim Vishniac 

>(1)  What age was your child when you transitioned him/her to a bed?

Slightly over one year.

>(2)  Was the transition motivated by the arrival of a new sibling?

No.

>(3)  If the answer to (2) was no, why did you decide to move to a
>     bed at that time?  

After he dumped himself out of the crib twice, we were worried he'd
injure himself.

>(4)  How did you go about preparing your child for the transition,
>     and did you find that the preparation paid off?

No real preparation, we just took apart the crib and brought in his
new mattress. 

>(5)  Did you encounter any problems with your child wandering out of
>     his/her room in the middle of the night or early morning?  If
>     so, how did you solve the problem?

Baby gate in the doorway.

>(6)  Did moving your child from a crib to a bed result in any
>     changes to his/her sleep routine?  

No change that I can recall. He still acted as though he were in the
crib. He'd sit on the bed in the morning and call us to come get him. 

>(7)  Did you make the transition from a crib to a toddler bed or to
>     a regular sized bed (please specify what size)?  Were you happy
>     with the decision (i.e. crib to toddler bed)?

We went from the crib to a regular-sized mattress on the floor, then
later to a regular bed. David didn't have any complaints.

>(8)  If you had it to do over again, would you have made the
>     transition earlier, later or at the same time?  That is, did
>     you feel the timing was right for your child?

I think we'll do it the same way again -- watch for a sign that the
crib is outdated.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Diane S.  ("B" = abbreviation for child's name)

Here's how we switched our 20 month old son to a bed.

Background:  I was expecting our second child, who was due when
B was 22 months old.  We didn't really want to buy or borrow
a second crib.  Nor did we think putting the new baby in a bassinet
for a few months, then switching B to a bed and IMMEDIATELY giving
the crib to the new baby was a good idea.  That seemed like a setup
for jealousy and problems.  So I really wanted to get B into a bed
several months before the baby was born.  We also switched B to a
new room at the same time.  His old room is decorated for a baby, and
I didn't want to redo that one for a little boy and then decorate a
new one for the baby.

First we went and picked out the bed.  We let B help pick it out, 
though at his then age of 18 months, he really wasn't all that interested.  
We got a standard twin bed, not a toddler bed.  Those use the crib mattress, 
which would totally defeat my purpose! He did enjoy picking out new 
sheets for his big bed (Sesame Street). It was about a month before 
the bed was delivered.  The day it came, my husband tried to put him 
in the new bed for a nap.  He would have nothing to do with it.  By 
this time he was about 19 months or so. At the time, we were doing a 
lot of interior painting, and were using his new room for temporary 
furniture storage every weekend, so we really didn't push the issue.  
We referred to the room as his new room.  We moved his bookcase with 
all his stories in there, as well as his toy box. He liked to get up 
on the bed and play, or read stories.  But every night when we asked 
if he wanted to sleep there, he said no.

In the middle of the month, B got chicken pox and I had to go out
of town for about four days.  We decided that was DEFINITELY not the
time to push the issue, but continued to read stories on the bed fairly
regularly.  Once he got over the chicken pox, I continued asking him
where he wanted to sleep.  Once he indicated he wanted to sleep on the
bed, so I put him there at bedtime, but he got up crying within ten
minutes so I put him in his crib right away, and he settled down.

About a month after the bed was delivered, we were out late and B
had fallen thoroughly asleep in the car. He stayed asleep as we carried 
him in, so we just put him in the new bed.  He definitely was NOT thrilled 
to wake up there the next morning!  The next two nights when I asked 
him where he wanted to sleep, he ran crying to his crib.  So I was almost 
resigned to looking for a second crib.  The next night, we read bedtime 
stories in the crib room.  He got down, went into the other room, picked 
out more stories, and climbed up on the bed.  So I read him more stories 
on the bed, then kissed him goodnight and left, closing the door behind 
me.  (We have always kept his door closed).  He fussed for about 5 minutes, 
just his usual I don't want to go to bed yet fussing, but didn't get 
up.  Since then, he has slept in the bed every night! We moved all of 
his clothes in there about two days later, and now he rarely goes in 
his old room anymore.  It was at least two months before he figured 
out he could get out of bed by himself.  Up until then, he stayed in 
his bed once I put him in it, until I came and got him out.  Of course, 
to enforce this, I had to get up and come right away when he called 
to get out!

I really think the key was starting early enough to allow B to set
the pace himself.  He had to wait until he was comfortable enough with
the room, and healthy, so he could give up the security of his crib.
The only time he has really gotten upset was one time when he mistakenly
went into his old room to get a sweater out of his old dresser, and
the drawer was empty.  I told him that this wasn't his room anymore,
that it was going to be the new baby's room.  He started to cry until
I took him in his new room and showed him again where all his clothes
were.

Hope this helps someone else!
---------------------------------------------------------------------
From: ann@alumni.cco.caltech.edu (Ann Terese Heil)

My son transitioned from his crib to a bed sometime after his second
birthday.  The move was done entirely on his request.  We have a
futon on the floor in his room, and he just started requesting to
sleep on the futon.  Once he was on the futon instead of the crib, he
could of course get out of his bedroom at night, but we didn't really
find this to be a problem - instead of him crying if he needed something
in the middle of the night, he simply came into our room and asked us 
for it ("more apple juice please").  We did not find that he slept any
later on the weekends after the transition.

Interestingly enough, he is now almost three and is sleeping on the 
couch out in the living room.  I have no idea why he wants to sleep
there, but he started asking to be put to bed on the couch so we
let him (and sometimes we'd put him to bed in his room and he'd
migrate out to the couch later).  Kids sure are strange sometimes.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
From: gbk@ihlpm.att.com (Gail B Karlovsky)

 > (1)  What age was your child when you transitioned him/her to a bed?

We tried to move Adrienne to a bed at about age two.  At first she was on a
mattress on the floor (for a couple of weeks) and did fine.  When we received
the frame, and she moved off the floor, she woke up numerous times a nite,
eventually asking to go back in her crib.  She moved back to her crib until
we took a trip to New York where she slept on a bed.  When we went back home,
she wanted to sleep in the bed again, so we bought a guard rail.  This was
pretty much permanent at age 2 1/2 (only 1 month ago).  She no longer wakes 
up and she no longer talks about monsters (I guess the guard rail, just like 
the crib rail, keeps them out).

 > (2)  Was the transition motivated by the arrival of a new sibling?

Definitely not, it was very important for us to make sure the two wouldn't
coincide...  she is still an only child, although we are hoping to start on
number two soon... that has to wait til the doctor gives me the go ahead.

 > (3)  If the answer to (2) was no, why did you decide to move to a
 >      bed at that time?  

Our concerns were exactly those...  she was trying to climb out and getting
stuck, AND she was jumping alot and we were concerned the crib was going to
break.

 > (4)  How did you go about preparing your child for the transition,
 >      and did you find that the preparation paid off?

The transition to the mattress meerly included her shopping with us.  We had
asked her first if she wanted to sleep in a real bed, and she did.
Additionally, she already sleeps on a cot at daycare (low to the ground).

With the bedframe, she "helped" us put it together.

I think including her in everything helped ALOT.  She doesn't give up things
easily.

 > (5)  Did you encounter any problems with your child wandering out of
 >      his/her room in the middle of the night or early morning?  If
 >      so, how did you solve the problem?

I described this above....  Mostly, whenever she gets out of bed, she always
comes to get us and wakes us up.  Our concerns were never for safety, since
she never did anything but come stright to us.  Our concern was for our sleep
and once we found the cause of waking up (whether it be falling out of bed or
monsters) we were able to solve it with the guard rails.

 > (6)  Did moving your child from a crib to a bed result in any
 >      changes to his/her sleep routine?  (Specifically, my husband
 >      would like to know if sleeping in a bed will encourage our son
 >      to stay in bed longer in the morning :-0.)

No...  did not change a thing, except shortly after she moved into her bed,
we told her we would not be allowing her to have a middle of the night
bottle.  We are not trying to wean her from the bottle, simply we are trying
to get her to the point where when she does wake up in the middle of the
night, it is to come get a hug and go right back to bed.  This way, we all
lose less sleep.

 > (7)  Did you make the transition from a crib to a toddler bed or to
 >      a regular sized bed (please specify what size)?  Were you happy
 >      with the decision (i.e. crib to toddler bed)?

Adrienne is in a toddler bed, though I think she will outgrow it sooner than
we want to.  She could have just as easily gone to a twin size bed, but the
smaller bed allows more stuff in her room, and we wanted that.

 > (8)  If you had it to do over again, would you have made the
 >      transition earlier, later or at the same time?  That is, did
 >      you feel the timing was right for your child?

I think the only thing we would have done differently, is we would have gotten 
the guard rail for the bed the first time she transitioned.

I also wanted to point out that when she went to the bed, the crib stayed.
It was a much more major transition to take the crib out, and that was
initiated by Adrienne.  We had bought one of those chains that you hang
stuffed animals on, but when Adrienne wanted us to put it up, we explained it
had to wait til the crib came out because there was no room for it (this was
not done to encourage her to want the crib out, it was coincidental).  Before
we got to initiate removing the crib, she asked me to take it out of her
room.  When the crib came out, the whole room got rearranged.  She was with
us the whole time, "helping" us decide where to put her furniture.  Now she
has a really neat toddler's room instead of an outgrown baby's room.

Hope this helps...
---------------------------------------------------------------------
From: stanzi@vision.wellesley.edu (Constance Royden)

I worried about this transition too.  For us it turned out to be
easy.  After a trip to visit grandparents, during which Caitlin
slept on the floor, she refused to sleep in the crib any more. 
So, after picking out a bed (twin size) that I liked, we took
her shopping to show her the bed and get her approval.  Then we
took her shopping for bedding and let her pick out her own blankets
and sheets.  We left the crib up for about a week, after the bed
arrived, but it got no use.  We then let Caitie "help" take the
crib apart and put it in the attic.  She's never asked about it 
since!  This all occured when she was 2years 3 months old.

So from our experience I would say this:
1) Wait until the child seems ready--talk to her about it if you're 
not sure.
2) Involve the child in the process--shopping for blankets and sheets,
putting the crib away.

I admit we had an especially easy time of it :-).
-------------------------------------------------------------------
From: ICKAD@ASUACAD.BitNet (Karen Davis)

I hope it's not too late to add our experience to the new FAQ file.  I feel
that our situation might be unique because, although we *did* have a crib set
up for Jamie and used it occasionally, we actually had a family-bed up until
June of this year, when he was almost 2-1/2.  The reason why I *particularly*
wanted Jamie in his own bed/room was that Jamie is an "active" sleeper, which
caused me to lose sleep--as I would often find myself being kicked or pushed
to the rail of the waterbed.  Also, although I originally favored the family
bed to facilitate nursing, Jamie continued to request nursing through the
night, throwing middle-of-the-night tantrums if I was just too exhausted (or
sick) to comply.  So, the motivating factor was the necessity for *all* of us
to get a good night's sleep on a regular basis.

I spent a long time pondering how best to make the transition.  I decided to
re-do his room . . . to truly make it *his* room, and not what we thought it
should be.  Since he was fanatic about "101 Dalmatians" this summer, we bought
him a "101 Dalmatians" comforter for the waterbed (already set up in the room
from when it used to be a guest room).  Since we had to take the crib down,
we had to do something with the tons of stuffed animals, so I decided to buy
some colorful (and decorative) hammocks (sold at Toys 'R Us), which we hung up
on decorative plant hooks in the corner of his room.  The hammocks now hold
all the stuffed animals; it's decorative and functional.  We kept the changing
table, but since we were working on potty training, I moved out the diapers
put the diaperaps into the pedestal drawers underneath his waterbed, and filled
the bottom shelf of the changing table with all his books.  The toys that he
used to keep in what we call the "library" (den), we moved into his room,
giving us our own space back.  We still have some work to do on his closet, so
he will be able to access his own clothes and encourage him to dress himself.
All this we did while Jamie was taking a long nap one Sunday afternoon.  When

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