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               Frequently Asked Questions on Soc.Culture.Jewish
   Part 5: Worship, Conversion, Intermarriage, and other Practice Questions
                    [Last Post: Tue Mar  2 11:07:29 US/Pacific 2004]


   The FAQ is a collection of documents that is an attempt to answer
   questions that are continually asked on the soc.culture.jewish family
   of newsgroups. It was written by cooperating laypeople from the
   various Judaic movements. You should not make any assumption as to
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   all cases, it is always best to consult a competent authority--your
   local rabbi is a good place to start.
   
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   questions. If it doesn't, please drop Email to
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   Reform is Progressive or Liberal Judaism; Conservative is Masorti or
   Neolog, and Orthodoxy is often just "Judaism". Even with this, there
   are differences in practice, position, and ritual between US/Canada
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   Progressive/ Liberal), and between US/Canada Conservative and the
   conservative/Masorti movement elsewhere. Where appropriate, these
   differences will be highlighted.
   
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------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: ORGANIZATION

   This portion of the FAQ contains answers to the following questions:


                                 Section 9:
                               Jewish Worship
                                      
    1. [5]How does a rabbi differ from a priest? 
    2. [6]Do you need a rabbi for a wedding? 
    3. [7]Do you need a rabbi for a divorce? 
    4. [8]How do Jews pray? 
    5. [9]Is there a distinctly Jewish form of meditation? 
    6. [10]Does Judaism have a strong tradition of religious art and
       music? 
    7. [11]What is a synagogue?
    8. [12]What will I find in a synagogue?
    9. [13]How is a synagogue operated?
   10. [14]What functions does a synagogue serve?
   11. [15]What is the name of the Jewish God?
   12. [16]What is the reason for a "minyon" (a quorum of 10 men requried
       for certain prayers)?
   13. [17]What is the "Shema"?
   14. [18]Where can I learn about the prayers before eating?
   15. [19]What is the structure of the morning service?
   16. [20]When should morning services start?
   17. [21]Why do people put their tallit over their heads when they
       pray?
   18. [22]What is the importance of collective worship in Judaism?
   19. [23]What is the difference between Conservative Prayer and
       Orthodox Prayer?
   20. [24]What is the Timeline of Women in the Rabbinate?
   21. [25]Are extremely observant men permitted to pray at home?
   22. [26]What is the Qetzatzah Ceremony?
   23. [27]What time of day were the sacrifices offered?

                                Section 10:
               Conversion, Intermarriage, and "Who is a Jew?"
                                      
    1. [5]Does Halacha (Jewish law) permit intermarriage? 
    2. [6]I'm a Jew who married a gentile. Am I still Jewish? 
    3. [7]I'm a Jew who accepted the tenets of another religion, but now
       wants to practice Judaism again. Am I allowed? Am I still Jewish? 
    4. [8]OK, then apart from halachic considerations, why do many Jews
       of all types oppose intermarriage? 
    5. [9]Is objection to intermarriage a form of bigotry? 
    6. [10]But I still want to intermarry? Do you know of a Rabbi that
       performs intermarriages? 
    7. [11]How does one convert? 
    8. [12]What about adults who are not circumcised? 
    9. [13]What does the word "Jew" mean? 
   10. [14]Who is a Jew? 
   11. [15]What is the origin of Matrilineal Descent?
   12. [16]I've heard that Jewish parents consider an intermarried child
       as "dead". Is this true?
   13. [17]Why is the conversion process so complicated? The matriarchs
       didn't have to convert. 

                                Section 11:
                      Miscellaneous Practice Questions
                                      
   11.1. Dress 
    1. [5]Why do some Jewish women wear wigs or cover their hair with a
       snood, beret, tichel, turban, kerchief or hat?
    2. [6]Why do many Jewish men wear head coverings (variously referred
       to as "yarmulkas," "skullcaps," and "kipot")?
    3. [7]What is a Tallis? Tzit-tzit(those fringes)? Why do Jews wear
       them?
    4. [8]What are those black boxes and leather straps Jewish men wear?
    5. [9]Why do many Jewish men sport beards and/or long sideburns?
    6. [10]Why do some Orthodox Jews, especially Chassidim, wear a
       distinctive style of clothing (i.e., fur hats, black coats,
       gartel)?
    7. [11]What is Shaatnez?
    8. [12]Are there any special dress rules or customs for women?
    9. [13]What is a Kittel?
   10. [14]What is the large high ceremonial hat that the Rabbi wears in
       the synagogue called?
       
   11.2 Sex and Purity
    1. [15]What's this I've heard about a hole in a sheet? 
    2. [16]Can a Jewish man only uncover his wife a hands-breadth? 
    3. [17]What is a "mikveh"? 
    4. [18]What are Jewish hygene practices?
       
   11.3 Writing 
    1. [19]Why do some people write "G-d" with a hyphen instead of an
       `o'? 
    2. [20]Why do some Jews write "J-s-s" and "Xianity"?
    3. [21]Why are somethings written in Hebrew, and others in Aramaic?
       
   11.4 Practices towards others
    1. [22]Does Judaism permit slavery? 
    2. [23]What does "eye for an eye" mean? 
    3. [24]Is it permitted for a Jew to sell Christian objects?
       
   11.5 Weddings
     * This material has been moved to [25]Section 8.
       
   11.6 Death and Burial
    1. [26]Is it true that someone with tattoos cannot be buried in a
       Jewish cemetery? 
    2. [27]I've heard about a custom of putting stones on the grave. Do
       you know where this custom originated? 
    3. [28]Is "stone setting" at the cemetery within a year after death
       is a Jewish tradition?
    4. [29]What are the Jewish mourning customs after the death of an
       immediate relative?
    5. [30]What are Jewish funeral customs?
    6. [31]Is getting cryogenically frozen against Judaism?
    7. [32]Are Jews buried facing West?
    8. [33]Can Jews be cremated?
    9. [34]What is the Jewish position on Suicide?
   10. [35]Can pregnant women attend a funeral?
   11. [36]If a Jewish person lives in an area where there is no
       synagogue, no Jewish funeral home, and no Jewish cemetery, what
       would the rules be in regard to burial?
   12. [37]Can Jews and Non-Jews be buried together?
   13. [38]Must the Chevra Kedisha be family members?
   14. [39]How have burial customs changed over time?
   15. [40]Why do Jews emphasize burial within 24 hours?
       
   11.7 Charity
    1. [41]What are the levels of giving?
       
   11.8 Sacrifices
    1. [42]When did Jews stop making animal sacrifices?
    2. [43]What replaced animal sacrifices in Jewish practice?
    3. [44]How do sacrifices relate to compassion for animals?
    4. [45]Will sacrifices be restored if the Temple is rebuilt?
       
   11.9 Symbols
    1. [46]Why are Jews called Jews?
    2. [47]What does the Star of David represent and what is its
       symbolism?
    3. [48]What is the signficance of "Chai" and the number 18?
    4. [49]What is a Mezuzah?
    5. [50]What is a Menorah?
    6. [51]What is the significance of the number 5?
    7. [52]What is the significance of the number 3?
    8. [53]What is the significance of the number 40?
    9. [54]What is the significance of the number 7?
   10. [55]Are there any Jewish housewarming rituals?
   11. [56]What is the significance of blue in Judaism? Are there other
       special colors?
   12. [57]What is the significance of the number 8?


------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Question 9.1: How does a rabbi differ from a priest?

                                  Answer:
   
   A rabbi has no actual powers in the written Torah, although the Talmud
   does provide the Rabbi with the authority to make interpretations of
   Torah (which, in Orthodoxy, provides authority). Rabbis are, however,
   ordained (a term used in the progressive communities) or given
   semichah. This is a recognition of a certain level of training or
   education as defined as appropriate for the community in which the
   Rabbi has studied.
   
   One of the traditional names for semichah is hatarat hora'ah, which
   translates as a license to instruct. In the Orthodox community,
   semichah is granted in two forms: Yoreh Yoreh (to instruct) and Yadin
   Yadin (a higher level, meaning to judge). This was seen in earlier
   times. For example there was the "Magid" or preacher (the role of
   teaching Jewish law and judging being separated from moral
   instruction).
   
   Because of the rabbi's training, the rabbi often takes on other roles.
   Rabbinical presence at religious services is desired insofar as
   everyone likes the rabbi and the rabbi can rule on questions that come
   up related to the service (e.g. does a particular smudge render a
   Torah scroll unkosher?) If the rabbi has a nice voice, and no one else
   has priority, the rabbi may even lead the services. The state gives
   rabbis the permission to perform weddings and so on since the state
   trusts them.
   
   Priests are male descendants from Aaron, the brother of Moses. They
   are usually called cohanim [cohen singular]. The cohanim perform
   Birkat Cohanim (blessing the congregation using the Hebrew text found
   in Bamidbar [Numbers] 6:23-25) on the following occasions:
   Daily
          ...in Israel (except the Galil, per Minhag Tzefat)
   Shabbat and Yom Tov
          ...in many non-Israeli Sephardic congregations
   Yom Tov 
          ...otherwise (non-Israeli Ashkenazic congregations)
          
   Cohanim are traditionally granted priority in numerous details. They
   are also traditionally forbidden to attend funerals other than their
   closest relatives and may not marry divorcees or converts. When the
   Temple is standing, the cohanim run most of the Temple service.
   
   The "Star Trek" Vulcan "live long and prosper" sign is roughly
   one-half of the gesture the cohanim make when blessing the
   congregation.1 You can see it engraved on many cohen tombstones:
\\//_ _\\//
 \ /   \ /

   The Pharisee/Sadduccee conflict was a sectarian division in the period
   of the Second Temple, although some view it as a rabbi/priest
   conflict. When the Second Temple was destroyed, the priests lost most
   of their power.
   
   Oh wait, you meant maybe, like Catholic/Anglican priests? Heh.
   
   On this note: Priests are often used as intermediaries between man and
   G-d. Rabbis are nothing more than regular people who have learned much
   Torah. Catholic priests can give absolution for sins, rabbis can't
   (unless you're asking forgiveness for something you've done against
   the rabbi personally).
   
   On the other hand, in the traditions of the Chassids and in the
   Sephardi communities, holy men sometimes have a role as intermediary
   (though not obligatory, of course). The tales of Rabbi Levi Yitzchak
   of Berdichev are filled with stories of his intercession On-High. This
   was a dominant theme in Chasidic "maasehs."
   
   Footnote:
   
   1: The Vulcan's learned of this symbol from Leonard Nimoy, who is
   Jewish.

------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Question 9.2: Do you need a rabbi for a wedding?

                                  Answer:
   
   Technically, you don't need one; however, it's very important to have
   a rabbi in order to make sure that the complicated marriage ceremony
   is done properly. Valid witnesses are needed to make the marriage
   official. The criteria constituting a valid witness differ among the
   movements.
   
   The purpose of a rabbi is like that of using a judge or a lawyer in
   civil matters to ensure that the law is complied with. This differs
   from the non-Jewish concept of a minister having some necessary
   mystical connection with G-d that is required to make the ceremony
   valid.
   
   In Israel, the Rav is also needed for the secular legality of the
   wedding.

------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Question 9.3: Do you need a rabbi for a divorce?

                                  Answer:
   
   The appropriate answer to this depends on the movement with which you
   are involved, and whether or not you had a "Jewish" wedding. In this
   context, a "Jewish Wedding" is a marriage that was recognized as being
   under the laws of Moses and Israel. Intermarriages, regardless of the
   amount of Judaism practiced in the household or who performed the
   ceremony are not "Jewish" weddings because halacha (traditional Jewish
   law) does not recognize marriages between Jews and non-Jews. There are
   other types of marriages that are not recognized; consult your local
   rabbi for information.
   
   Conservative and Orthodox Judaism require (and Reform recommends) that
   if you have a Jewish wedding, you should get a Jewish divorce, which
   is called a "get". This is because Judaism regards marriage as a
   special relationship between a man and a woman that begins with a holy
   bond. Just as that relationship is created through a religious act of
   marriage, it can only be abrogated through a Jewish act, the "get".
   
   Note that a "get" is required even if you already have a civil divorce
   (with one exception: Reform, but not the other movements, accepts the
   civil divorce papers as equivalent to a "get"). According to Jewish
   law, a marriage is not dissolved until a bill of divorce (get) is
   exchanged between husband and wife. Most Non-Reform American Rabbis,
   and all Rabbis in Israel, will not officiate at a wedding if either
   party has been divorced without the benefit of a get.
   
   Regardless of one's personal convictions or practices, or one's
   movemental affiliation, obtaining a "get" is important. This simple
   procedure does more than just assure the couple that they will be free
   to remarry should they so desire. It also prevents a tragic problem: a
   child born to a Jewish woman whose previous marriage did not terminate
   with a "get" may be considered illegitimate. Any Jew, whether
   observant or non-observant, needs to share in the concern for Jewish
   unity and in providing their children with a clean slate for the
   future.
   
   A Jewish divorce is similar to many present-day legal transactions. A
   divorce contract (get) is drawn up under expert Rabbinical staff
   (consult your local Rabbi to find an appropriate party to do this) and
   signed by witnesses. The husband and wife are not subject to personal
   questions. If they choose to, they need not be present together.
   
   A Jewish divorce usually takes an hour or two, during which time the
   get is prepared and executed. The parties are expected to provide
   proof of identification, and will be asked some formal questions to
   make it clear that the get is being executed on their behalf without
   coercion. Costs may vary in different cases, but on the average, a get
   costs US$350.00.
   
   Note that we should add here that many rabbis will not issue a get
   until the civil divorce has been finalized in order to avoid problems.

------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Question 9.4: How do Jews pray?

                                  Answer:
   
   In public and in private; in groups and alone. Jews pray loudly and in
   silence; in Hebrew, English, and any other language you can name.
   Sometimes Jews even pray without language. Jews pray from the depth of
   their souls, at the tops of their lungs, and from the quiet of their
   hearts. It is difficult to point to a specific "Jewish" way of
   praying.
   
   However, one's prayers must fulfill certain daily obligations, so a
   standard order of prayers has been developed to accomplish this.
   Still, even in a structured prayer service, there are many
   opportunities for a silent, personal supplication to G-d.
   
   The introduction to the Artscroll Siddur (Orthodox) provides a good
   overview of the Jewish view of prayer, and the book [5]To Pray as a
   Jew discusses more of the particulars.
   
   The next question is: So, why do we pray at all. Often, when we think
   of 'prayer', we think of needs and requests. This is not necessarily
   the Jewish concept of prayer.
   
   In Judaism, prayer is an introspective process. It is process of
   discovering what one is, what one should be, and how to achieve the
   transformation. Prayer is described in Torah as a service of the
   heart, not of the mouth (Talmud Bavli, Ta'anit 2a). By improving
   ourselves with prayer, we become capable of absorbing G-d's blessing.
   
   The Hebrew word for prayer is tefila, based on the words 'to judge' or
   'to differentiate'. The exercise of judgements is called 'pilelah',
   whose roots mean 'a clear separation'. Prayer is viewed as a means to
   define what truly matters, to ignore the trivialities.
   
   So why pray? Doesn't G-d know our requirements already? In Jewish
   tradition, the purpose of tefila is not to tell G-d something, but
   rather to raise the level of the person praying by improving their
   perceptions of life so they can become worthy of blessing.
   
   Note that Jewish law requires the worshiper to be aware that it is G-d
   being addressed, to "know before Whom you are standing" (Talmud Bavli,
   Berakhot, 28b). Thus, Jewish prayer is more than reading from a prayer
   book. Prayer requires the sense of standing in the presence of G-d and
   the intent to fulfill at least one of G-d's commandments. This intent
   is called kavanah.
   
   Talmud teaches that the minimal level of kavanah required is that "one
   who prays must direct one's heart towards heaven" (Berakhot, 31a). The
   next higher level of kavanah is to know and understand fully the
   meanings of the prayers. The level following that is to free one's
   mind of all extraneous and interfering thoughts. At the highest level,
   kavanah means to think about the deeper meaning of what one is saying
   and praying with extraordinary devotion. Should circumstances make it
   necessary for a person to choose between saying more prayers without
   kavanah or saying fewer prayers with kavanah, the fewer are preferred.
   (Shulkhan Arukh, Orah Hayim 1:4)

------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Question 9.5: Is there a distinctly Jewish form of meditation?

                                  Answer:
   
   Yes. Meditation has long been a part of Judaism. Today, there is a
   revival that is discovering the richness of the Jewish meditative
   tradition. Part of this comes from regularity of practice (think of
   this like the repeating of a "mantra" in other cultures, although
   there is much more). Meditation and reconnecting yourself to G-d
   occurs through daily and regular Jewish observances such as daily
   prayer, kashrut (keeping kosher), Shabbat and holydays. The silent
   "shemoneh esrei" prayer is also a form of meditation.
   
   There is much information on Jewish Meditation available on the web:
     * [5]Kavannah. The Kavannah site ([6]www.kavannah.org or
       [7]http://www.crosswinds.net/~kavannah/) provides a collection of
       resources for Jewish Meditation.
     * [8]Jewish Mystical Traditions. Zos Imos has a page on Jewish
       Mystical Traditions at
       [9]http://www.mnsmc.edu/merton/zos/jewish.html
     * Chocomat Halev. This organization has an [10]online bibliography
       specifically about Jewish Meditation at
       [11]http://www.chochmat.org/biblio.htm
       
   Readers might also consult Section [12]4.10 of this FAQ, which
   contains a discussion of [13][KQ]abbalah. You might also look at some
   of the books in the [14]"mysticism" portion of the reading list.

------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Question 9.6: Does Judaism have a strong tradition of religious art
         and music?

                                  Answer:
   
   Emphatically, yes! Cantorial music goes back a long way, and there
   have been Jewish artists since Abraham's time. You should investigate
   many of the exhibits at the local Jewish Community Centers,
   synagogues, and rabbinical schools (such as the Skirball Museum at
   [5]Hebrew Union College in Los Angeles). Often, Jewish art focuses on
   ceremonial objects, such as spice boxes, menorot, mezzuzot, wimples,
   kippahs, breastplates for the Torah, Torah covers, etc, as opposed to
   portraits or statues.
   
   Judaism does have a strong tradition of religious music, it's just
   that there haven't been that many Jewish composers with great popular
   success outside of the small Jewish circles (as opposed to classical
   composers of the 17th-19th centuries who wrote liturgical music that
   was a great success in its own right, without the liturgy underneath
   it)
   
   There is also an emerging tradition of modern Jewish music, including
   such artists as Debbie Friedman, Rabbi Joe Black, and others. Some of
   this music is more appropriate to the liberal streams. Those
   interested in modern Jewish music should investigate some of the
   online Jewish music stores, such as [6]Sounds Write
   ([7]http://www.soundswrite.com/) or [8]JewishMusic.com
   ([9]http://www.jewishmusic.com/).
   
   Some other links of interest include:
     * American Conference of Cantors - Reform (Progressive) Judaism:
       [10]http://rj.org/acc/
     * The Cantors Assembly - Conservative (Masorti) Judaism:
       [11]http://www.cantors.org/
     * Cantorial Council of America - Orthodox Judaism:
       [12]http://www.yu.edu/belz/
     * Chazzanut Online: [13]http://www.joods.nl/~chazzanut/. A
       comprehensive site on Jewish liturgical music, with a large
       collection of cantorial sheet music, midi files, annotated links
       and background information.

------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Question 9.7: What is a synagogue?

                                  Answer:
   
   A synagogue is a Jewish place of assembly for worship, education, and
   communal affairs. One tradition dates synagogues back to the
   Babylonian exile of the 6th cent. BCE, when the returnees may have
   brought back with them the basic structure that was to be developed by
   the 1st cent. CE into a well-defined institution around which Jewish
   religious, intellectual, and communal life was to be centered. Other
   scholars believe the synagogue arose after the Hasmonean revolt
   (167-164 BCE) as a Pharisaic alternative to the Temple cult. In any
   case, the destruction of the Temple (70 CE) and the Diaspora over the
   following centuries increased the synagogue's importance.
   
   Services in the synagogue were conducted in a simpler manner than in
   the historic Temple. Services were conducted by a chazzan (reader), as
   opposed to a formally appointed priest. Some congregations today
   continue to use a chazzan, but in most, services are led by a rabbi.
   
   The place of Jewish worship has many names. The Hebrew term is beit
   k'nesset (literally, House of Assembly). Many people use the word
   "shul," which is a Yiddish word derived from a German word meaning
   "school" (which demonstrates the synagogue's role as a place of
   study). "Synagogue" is a Greek translation of Beit K'nesset and also
   means "place of assembly" (related to "synod"). Progressive Jews often
   use the word "temple," because they consider every one of their
   meeting places to be equivalent to, or a replacement for, the Temple
   (this usage offends some traditional Jews, because they believe there
   was only one Temple). Lastly, some Jews just use the term
   "Congregation".
   
   Note that the word "Temple" is often used to refer to the place in
   Jerusalem that was the center of Jewish religion from the time of
   Solomon to its destruction by the Romans in 70 CE. According to
   tradition, this is the one and only place where sacrifices and certain
   other religious rituals were performed. It was partially destroyed at
   the time of the Babylonian Exile and rebuilt ("the Second Temple").
   The "Wailing Wall" is the western retaining wall of that Temple, and
   is as close to the site of the original Sanctuary as Jews can go
   today. Traditional Jews believe that The Temple will be rebuilt when
   the Moshiach (Messiah) comes.
   
   Also, note that a synagogue serves many purposes. It is a house of
   prayer, of course, because people go there to pray in group prayer. It
   is a house of assembly, because people assemble there for social
   events, such as dinners, fundraisers, and other non-religious
   activities. It is a house of study because life-long learning is a
   part of Judaism: we teach our children there, and we teach ourselves
   there through adult education.

------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Question 9.8: What will I find in a synagogue?

                                  Answer:
   
    Sanctuary
    
   Prayer services are normally performed in a "sanctuary" (although some
   congregations use a general meeting room, which is configured as a
   sanctuary). Synagogues are generally arranged so that the front of the
   sanctuary is facing Jerusalem, which is the direction Jews face when
   reciting certain prayers (probably because the original Temple was in
   Jerusalem).
   
    Ark
    
   The most important feature of the sanctuary is the Ark, which is an
   acrostic of the words "Aron Kodesh," ("holy cabinet"). The Ark holds
   the Torah scrolls, and is generally placed in the front of the room,
   on the side towards Jerusalem. These Scrolls contain the first five
   books of the Bible. The Ark is in place of the Ark that had at one
   time been in the most Holy place of the Temple (which was in the
   Eastern part). In the Bible we are told that the tablets of the Ten
   Commandments had been placed in this Ark, hence we place the Torah
   Scroll in an ark on the Eastern side of the shul.
   
   The Ark has doors as well as an inner curtain called a "parokhet",
   which is in imitation of the curtain in the Sanctuary in The Temple.,
   and is named for it. During certain prayers, the doors and/or curtain
   of the Ark may be opened or closed. Opening or closing the doors or
   curtain is performed by a member of the congregation, and is
   considered an honor. One stands when the doors of the Ark are open.
   
    Ner Tamid
    
   In front of and slightly above the Ark, you will find the ner tamid,
   the Eternal Lamp. This lamp symbolizes the commandment to keep a light
   burning in the Tabernacle outside of the curtain surrounding the Ark
   of the Covenant. (Ex. 27:20-21).
   
    Menorah
    
   Many synagoguges have a menorah (candelabrum), symbolizing the menorah
   in the Temple. The menorah in the synagogue will generally have six or
   eight branches instead of the Temple menorah's seven, because exact
   duplication of the Temple's ritual items is improper. Note the
   distinction between a menorah, which has seven branches, and a
   chanukiah, which is used on Chanukkah and has nine branches.
   
    Bimah
    
   In the center of the room or in the front, is a pedestal or lectern
   called the bimah. The bimah holds the Torah scrolls when they are
   read, as well as serving as a podium for leading services. There is an
   additional, lower lectern in some synagogues called an amud. The
   tables/seats surrounding the bimah are facing towards Jerusalem. This
   is based on Jewish law, but also appears in the Bible. (1 Kings 8
   where King Solomon instructed to pray towards the place of the Holy
   Temple)
   
    Mechitzah
    
   In traditional synagogues, you will also find a separate section where
   the women sit. This may be on an upper floor balcony, or in the back
   of the room, or on the side of the room, separated from the men's
   section by a wall or curtain called a mechitzah. Traditionally, men
   are not permitted to pray in the presence of women, because they are
   supposed to have their minds on their prayers. The source for this is

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